THE STARE

from Autism Spectrum Disorder Through My Eyes

As a parent of a child with autism you become all to aware of “The Stare”. Because many of our kids lack the visual cue that they have a disability ( a wheel chair, walker, distinguishable physical characteristic) the looks and stares can feel like a judgement or criticism. The stares tend to come with the verbal outbursts,flapping, slapping clapping, hooting, screaming (you get the picture). Many of these outward expressions of autism can be excused when the child is younger, but the tables are turned when your son is 6’3″, 180 lbs, has facial hair and a deep base voice.

We were the recipients of THE STARE Saturday night while being seated for dinner at Chili’s. As we walked to our table, Ty (see the above description) sneezed directly over a mans plate. *STARE* We hurried to get seated so we could order the gentleman another dinner (yes, we replace many dinners that we take food from – and drinks that we put fingers in). Before we could get Ty into the booth, the gentleman was up out of his seat heading for the manager. My husband, Austin, went after him to explain that we were going to replace his dinner and to offer our apologizes, wanting to let him know that Ty has autism, and has not learned the valuable skill of covering his mouth when he sneezes or coughs.
I watched from several seats away as these two men were engaged in their conversation, trying to catch a word of their exchange, hoping that Austin would stay calm. I assumed we would be asked to leave after replacing the meal.

Menciptakan Lingkungan Ramah Anak: Dimulai Dari Rumah & Sekolah

Oleh: Elly Risman, Pakar Parenting

Tingginya angka kekerasan yang terjadi pada pelajar dan remaja saat ini tidak lepas dari hilangnya ruang-ruang terbuka. Ruang-ruang yang anak-anak butuhkan untuk berekspresi dan melakukan aktifitas fisik sebagai penyaluran energi mereka yang berlebih. Akibatnya, anak-anak dan remaja kesulitan menyalurkan emosi dan energi mereka hingga mengubah mereka menjadi sosok yang emosionalnya labil.

Perubahan hormon pada remaja membuat masalah emosi pada anak-anak menjadi lebih kompleks.
Perubahan hormon seiring perkembangan organ-organ reproduksi memicu kekacauan emosi. Pada anak laki-laki yang sudah baligh, mereka membutuhkan saluran untuk menyalurkan libidonya. Olahraga sangat efektif untuk mengelola emosi dan libido remaja karena pada anak laki-laki aktifitas ini membuat sperma bisa terserap kembali dalam tubuh. Sebaliknya, ketika mereka tidak punya ruang aktifitas fisik mereka mencari penggantinya melalui salah satunya melalui game online. Tidak banyak orangtua yang paham bahwa game online mengajarkan anak-anak kita kekerasan dan kecanduan seksual mengakibatkan kerusakan otak. Sebuah konsekuensi yang amat sangat, sangat mahal akibat hilangnya ruang-ruang terbuka untuk buah hati kita.
Agresivitas vs Cita-cita setinggi langit
Cita-cita apa yang kita dambakan untuk anak-anak kita kelak? Pilot? Dokter? Ilmuwan hingga entrepreneurkah? Demi mencapai cita-cita tersebutlah anak-anak kita tuntut untuk belajar sangat keras di sekolah hingga mengikuti berbagai les tambahan. Sesungguhnya ada yang terlewatkan oleh kita semua para orangtua saat ini. Apa itu?

Daughter and Son

By Karen Martin
Ollie’s world, living with Autism

As we queued at the checkout the whispers began,
I could see the finger pointing from a lady and a man.

My little boy was stimming, flapping like a bird.
I suppose to those unknowledged it really seems absurd.

‘What’s wrong with your Son?’ they eventually asked.
I was taken aback but my Daughter answered fast.

‘Nothing’, she said, ‘he’s Autistic that’s all,

he’s unique, he is perfect he will never be cruel.”Come on little brother, let’s have some fun,
let’s stim together,’ she said to my Son.

Then they both flapped their arms and jumped really high.
I honestly thought they were going to fly!

I was overwhelmed with pride as I watched them both stim.
I hadn’t realized just how much she loved him.

Relief flooded through me as I know when i’m gone
My beautiful Daughter will protect my amazing Son.

The whispering stopped and they quickly walked away.
Looking very guilty and embarassed I would say.

The lesson I learnt as I stood in that line
is be proud of your children and all will be fine. ♥

Top Five Reasons Why You Should Never Piss Off an Autism Mom…..

By Laughing Through Tears: Two women, four autism diagnoses, many cocktails

We’ve all been there. Every autism mom has had at least one encounter with some insensitive jackass who insulted our children or criticized our parenting. It might have been the perfectly groomed soccer mom who said your child was merely spoiled, or maybe the old biddy that told you to take your screaming kid outside even though you

were already dragging him out the door in a Fireman Carry, or maybe just some random mean guy who muttered, “This is why I hate kids” under his breath while your child happily flapped past him.

Usually we just have to mention “autism” and the critics slink away, embarrassed and with their tails between their legs, but every now and then you meet somebody who is such a huge asshole they don’t care if your kid is autistic, they just care that your child’s noise/stim/existence is annoying to them, and they don’t hesitate to tell you about how obnoxious your child is and what a terrible job you’re doing raising him.

Sometimes their callousness shocks us silent, and we sit in the car afterward, thinking of all the retorts we could have made. Sometimes we take the higher ground and walk away, and sometimes we dig in and defend ourselves. (And sometimes we defend ourselves loudly and with many obscenities, but that bitch in the bookstore deserved it!)